Folklore Frontiers - No 048

Magazine Overview

Title: OLDIES BUT GOODIES
Issue: FF47:11
Date: October 9, 2004
Publisher: THE SUN
Document Type: Magazine Issue

This section of The Sun newspaper, titled 'Oldies But Goodies', presents a collection of amusing anecdotes, urban legends, and debunked 'facts' that have circulated, often through email or word-of-mouth. The content is presented with a humorous and skeptical tone, aiming to clarify or dismiss these popular stories.

Debunked Myths and Amusing Anecdotes

The issue tackles a variety of popular myths and quirky stories:

• Frozen Semen: MEPs debating the export of bulls' semen were reportedly confused when an English translator spoke of "frozen sailors," leading to the realization that the term was "frozen SEMEN."
• Burglar Caught Sleeping: A burglar in Hamburg, Germany, was apprehended after falling asleep on a mattress in the bed shop he had raided.
• Puppy Shooting: Jerry Bradford, 37, was shot in the wrist by a puppy as he attempted to put down its siblings. The puppy's paw accidentally hit the trigger.
• Rude Place Names: The article revisits "rude placenames," noting that residents of the Austrian village of Fucking were reportedly refusing to change their name despite signs being stolen. The name is said to originate from a Herr Fuck who settled there 100 years ago. Similar issues are mentioned with the village of Little Dicker and signs on the River Uck. A book titled 'Far From Dull and Other Places' by Dominic Greyer is mentioned for documenting odd signposts.
• Local Outrage: Sue Nelson, assistant chief executive of Wigan-based Keep Britain Tidy, was suspended after calling Wigan "the arse end of the world."
• Britney Spears' Marriage and Fashion: Britney Spears' marriage on 18/9/04 is described as a sham according to legal papers, though she maintains a spiritual connection. Her fashion sense is also criticized, with a description of a kinky top.
• Pigeons as Food: A student from Leeds reported that a local pizza place used street pigeons instead of chicken.
• Anoraknophobia and Birdwatching: The article discusses the history of birdwatching, noting that it can be seen as a form of "organic trainspotting" and that women are considered a marginalized minority in the hobby. It also touches on the term "Ferro-equinology" for the study of the iron horse.
• Trainspotting Anecdotes: The piece mentions a Peruvian trainspotter seen in the Andes and notes that "synchonised swimming has taken over from trainspotting as the favourite anorak hobby."
• Box Tunnel: The article references a wartime and Cold War bolthole, Box Tunnel, and an incident where three men risked their lives exploring it, leading to significant delays and costs.
• Proto-Legends: A section on "Proto-Legends" includes an anecdote about a manager who cut the songs from 'The Sound of Music' because he deemed it too long. Bruce Campbell is quoted as saying the film would still work as a story without the music.
• Budgie Accident: A friend's budgie, Lucky, died after its feet were accidentally cut off by its owner's mother while trying to free it from net curtains.
• Female Porn Stars' "White Bits": An explanation is offered for why female porn stars have "white bits" in their performances, with one actress stating it's "because we're supposed to be like the girls next door."
• Wine Bar Complaint: A wine bar owner complained about a customer who put red wine in a microwave to warm it up.
• Pub Quiz Cheating: A pub quiz team allegedly steamed open the sealed envelope containing questions using a microwave.
• Ants as Pets: In Germany, citizens unable to afford dogs or cats are opting for ants as pets, as they are easier to care for.
• Airport Security: Twelve security guards tackled a three-year-old boy at a Chilean airport for playing with a water pistol, highlighting heightened security.
• Dog Vomit Revenge: A pickpocket victim in New York filled his pocket with dog vomit to surprise thieves.
• Wedding Video Theft: A wedding video showed the bridegroom's father pinching money from the bride's dad's jacket.
• Fascinated Burglar: A burglar was so engrossed in a store's model railway layout that he was found still playing with it when staff arrived.
• Burglar Sewing Trousers: A burglar in Chile tore his trousers and was caught when he stayed to sew them up.
• Bored Burglar: A burglar in San Francisco fell asleep during a victim's family photo album viewing and was subsequently caught.
• Church Sign: A church in Melbourne, Australia, had a sign warning: "No parking. Offenders will be baptised."
• Porsche Funeral: A priest conducted a funeral service for a Porsche that had been written off in a crash.
• Rail Timetable: Copies of a new national rail timetable were stocked among fiction paperbacks at WH Smith.
• Air Hostess Fired: A Russian air hostess was fired for giving a passenger a blow-job before take-off.
• Siberian Bailiffs Jailed: Three bailiffs in Siberia were jailed for five years after chopping off a man's feet with an axe.
• Ohio Judge's Punishment: A judge in Ohio punished a woman for stripping at a college ball by ordering her to attend classes naked for a week.
• Superglue Incident: A jobless man superglued his penis to his ex-girlfriend's hand.
• Teen Hacker: A US teen computer nerd made money by hacking into his school's computer and changing student exam grades.

The Myth? - Urban Legends Explored

This section focuses on debunking common urban legends, often spread via the internet:

• Copper Penny Breathalyser: The claim that a copper penny can fool a breathalyser is dismissed as having no evidence.
• Duck's Quack Echo: The "fact" that a duck's quack doesn't echo is called "plainly quackers."
• Shoplifting Chicken: A story about a woman shoplifting a frozen chicken and concealing it up her dress is presented as a variation on a tale that has circulated for 30 years.
• Drunken Groom Suffocation: The legend of a drunken groom suffocating between a stripper's breasts is called a "total myth."
• Santa Claus on a Cross: A Christmas window display in Japan showing Santa nailed to a cross is presented as a myth that has circulated for over 30 years without being traced to an actual incident.
• Frog Birth: The story of an Iranian woman giving birth to a frog, reported by the BBC, is presented as a classic tale with centuries-old fascination for stories of women giving birth to creatures.
• McDonald's Worms: The persistent myth that McDonald's grinds up worms for their food is addressed, with a spokesman stating it's not economically viable.
• Gang Initiation Rite: The terrifying tale of teenagers driving without lights as a gang initiation rite is traced back to a deranged driver who murdered a cop.
• Post-9/11 Paranoia: An email claiming a supermarket customer offered £1 to an Arab man who then warned him not to be in central London on Saturday is cited as an example of urban legend feeding on public paranoia.
• Cat vs. Rat: The story of a cat befriended on holiday in Thailand turning out to be an enormous Thai water rat is presented with skepticism.
• Paper Cut Cockroach Eggs: The legend of a paper cut from an envelope leading to a cockroach infestation is debunked, noting that cockroaches incubate eggs internally.
• Organ Theft Ring: The warning about a ring of criminal doctors drugging businessmen and stealing organs is dismissed as never having happened.
• Star Wars Jedi Religion: The email campaign encouraging people to list "Jedi" as their religion is explained as a prank that gained widespread traction.
• Ogling Boobs and Longevity: The claim that staring at women's cleavage is beneficial for men's health is presented as "wishful thinking."
• Rattlesnakes in Ball Ponds: The fear-mongering email about rattlesnakes nesting in children's ball ponds is described as the "latest breed of 'leisure terror'."
• Lead in Lipstick: The email listing lipstick brands containing lead is called "nonsense."
• NASA Sex Experiments: The claim that NASA carried out sex experiments in space is rubbished, with NASA denying the allegations.
• Wayne Rooney Rumor: The rumor about Wayne Rooney being caught in a Liverpool brothel with a granny is noted as a rare instance of an urban legend that "really did happen."

Controversial Art Display

A controversial art display in a Manchester department store, featuring images of Jamie Oliver next to a turd in a toilet bowl, was removed after complaints. The display, by artist Adrian Luty, was titled "Taste The Difference: Be Good To Yourself."

Metro Factfile

A factfile highlights that the 1965 film version of "The Sound of Music" was shortened by a cinema manager in South Korea by cutting out all the songs, as it was considered too long.

Recurring Themes and Editorial Stance

The recurring themes in this section are the prevalence and spread of urban legends, myths, and amusing anecdotes, particularly in the digital age. The editorial stance is one of skepticism and debunking, presenting these stories with a critical eye and often providing factual counterpoints or explanations. Humor is a consistent element, used to engage the reader while questioning the veracity of the tales. The section encourages critical thinking about information encountered, especially online.