Folklore Frontiers - No 046

Magazine Overview

This issue of 'Proto-Legends' is a collection of disparate, often bizarre, and sometimes humorous anecdotes and short news items, compiled from various sources including newspapers, books, and journals. The content spans a range of unusual human experiences, strange occurrences, and peculiar claims, with a focus on the unbelievable yet reportedly true.

Article Summaries

"PROTO-LEGENDS"

The issue opens with a medically perplexing case from Lesotho, Southern Africa, where a 15-year-old barmaid with a congenital deformity (no vagina) became pregnant. Dr. Douweouwe Verkuyl, writing in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, documented the case, which was attributed to oral sex with a former lover, an ensuing fight where the girl was stabbed, and sperm leaking from the wound being washed up the fallopian tube. The source is cited as 'The Complete Illustrated Encyclopedia of Erotic Failure' by Dr. Peter Kinnell.

Another story, from a similar book source, features Vera Czermak, who, upon discovering her husband's infidelity, attempted suicide by jumping from her third-floor flat in Prague. Ironically, she landed on a passer-by, killing him instantly. To her amazement, the victim was her unfaithful husband. This is attributed to 'The Encyclopaedia of Sexual Trivia' by Dr. Robin Smith.

"A SAUCY BLONDE"

Sheila Green, a 23-year-old secretary from Cooperville, Kansas, caused traffic jams with her cheeky number plate "NO NIX." She claimed that men slowed down to stare, and when she wore a bikini, it led to a traffic jam, with police warning her about her "skimpy clothing."

"KEEP-FIT GIRLS"

In Queens, New York, keep-fit enthusiasts in skimpy costumes set off fire alarms with their steamy exercise routine, leading firemen to repeatedly respond to the hall, only to find the women had triggered the heat detectors.

"A MAN accidentally shot and wounded six friends"

A man in Frederikstad, Norway, intending to surprise his friends for his 40th birthday, hid in a hut with a shotgun. When guests arrived, he fired a shot into the air as a joke. However, upon emerging, he tripped, and the gun discharged again, injuring one woman and wounding five others. The gunman was also taken to hospital suffering "deep shock."

"A MAN with amnesia"

A man with amnesia walked into a police station in an unspecified location and asked for help identifying himself. Detectives discovered he was a convicted fraudster wanted on several charges.

"DAN FEEGLE"

Dan Feegle, 44, from Sydney, Australia, collects poles from closing pole-dancing clubs, having amassed 212 of them.

"MY FAVOURITE"

Reported by Melissa Katsoulis, a customer in an East London bookshop asked for books about Brick Lane. The proprietress enthusiastically recommended a book by Monica Ali, but the customer clarified he wanted a book for his son doing a GNVQ in bricklaying.

"JAPANESE tourist Hiroshi Motoki"

A Japanese tourist, Hiroshi Motoki, was arrested in Brussels, Belgium, for stealing a tram. He claimed he was following a policeman's instructions after asking for directions to an art museum. The case was dismissed.

"AN unidentified lusty 20-year-old"

A 20-year-old man in Russia caused permanent damage to his genitals after attempting to have sex with a padlock. Emergency services had to remove it with a saw. A hospital spokesman stated his penis would remain curved but its functions preserved.

"THE racial aspect alerts me this could be false"

A lorry driver in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, kept warm by running a pipe from his exhaust into his cab. Police initially feared a suicide but pointed out the danger to the driver, who was unharmed.

"IT'S from an Irish source"

Harpeet Devi, a taxi driver from Bhatinda, India, drove backwards for 35 miles due to stuck gears and decided to continue driving backwards for two years, covering 7,500 miles. He now wishes to drive into Pakistan backwards as a message of peace.

"I OFTEN sneeze if I think about sex"

Morris Adams, 37, from Maseru, South Africa, suffers from severe sneezing fits when he sees women with large breasts, requiring him to go to bed.

"TWO MEN working in a public swimming baths"

In Chansha, China, two men were hospitalized with severe stomach pains after taking a pill from a conman, which was supposed to make them invisible, so they could spy on women in the changing rooms.

"IN A similar voyeuristic vein"

Bikinis that disintegrate when hot were pulled from stores in Sweden, having been given as joke presents.

"I couldn't quite comprehend this one"

A man in Kaiserslautern, Germany, returned a computer to a department store claiming it didn't work. Staff found its working parts replaced with potatoes. He was given a new one, but returned it again, asking for his money back. This second computer was also found to be stuffed with potatoes, and the man was arrested.

"CRAFTY BAKER Heinrich Muhi"

Heinrich Muhi, a baker in Lingen, Germany, scammed customers by claiming he lost a diamond ring in the dough, offering a reward for its finder. Customers overheard him and organized a boycott.

"ALSO in Germany"

A Berlin vet was charging £3,500 for sex changes for pets, stating that pets, like humans, can feel trapped in the wrong bodies.

"CHUCK STRICKLER"

Chuck Strickler, a welder at U.S. nuclear power plants for 30 years, had his fingerprints worn down, leading to him being sacked as nuclear plants now require fingerprints for ID.

"A GROUP of shocked American tourists"

American tourists in northern Cameroon stumbled upon a village with 20 human heads on poles at the entrance, with a sign reading: "This is what happens to people who ask for directions."

"ARTICLES ELSEWHERE"

This section compiles short summaries of articles from other publications.

• "CENTENARY CONTROVERSY": Discusses the 100mph record claimed for the City of Truro and the ongoing debate about whether it was the first to achieve this speed.
• "BESTIALITY TABOO": Reviews Edward Albee's play "The Goat, or who is Sylvia?" and recounts several incidents involving bestiality, including a man arrested for pleasuring a goat on a train, a man having sex with a cow, and a man charged with having sex with a sheep. It also mentions a judge jailing a taxi driver for using livestock for pleasure and a man convicted of sexually assaulting an elephant, claiming it was his wife's reincarnation.
• "SCRIPTING THE SCRIPTURES": Recounts an anecdote about John Wayne's portrayal of Christ, where he struggled to deliver the line "Truly that man was the son of God" with sufficient awe.
• "KYLIE SHOCKS": Features pop singer Kylie Minogue describing an experience she believes was spontaneous combustion, where she felt electricity and sparks flew from her arms and legs.
• "BUTCHER CHURCHILL": A resume of the German bombardment of Hartlepool and West Hartlepool in 1914, questioning whether Winston Churchill had prior knowledge and sacrificed civilians to protect coded messages. It also mentions a claim that local dogs and cats headed for the countryside before the shelling.

"BOOKS"

• "FAIRY PATHS & SPIRIT ROADS" by Paul Devereux: This section reviews Paul Devereux's book, which explores concepts of alignments, ley lines, fairy paths, and shamanic routes. The reviewer expresses skepticism about the book's revisionist approach to ley lore, suggesting it may not satisfy true believers or convince skeptics. The review touches upon the history of ley hunting, mentioning Alfred Watkins and Guy Ragland Philips, and discusses various types of spiritual or mythical routes, including corpse roads, fairy paths, and Nazca lines.

"MAGAZINES"

This section provides brief descriptions of recent issues of various magazines.

• FORTEAN TIMES: Lists topics covered in issues 181-184, including UFO crashes, cryptids, paranormal phenomena, conspiracy theories, and historical mysteries.
• TERRESTRIAL ZODIACS NEWSLETTER: A description of a resurrected newsletter focusing on landscape effigies.
• AMSKAYA: A newsletter featuring articles on UFO sightings, British X-files, and musical extraterrestrial language.
• TOUCHSTONE: A magazine covering earth mysteries, UFO sightings, and ley lines, with reviews and discussions of landscape and spiritual geography.

Recurring Themes and Editorial Stance

The magazine 'Proto-Legends' appears to have an editorial stance that embraces the unusual, the unexplained, and the often bizarre. The collection of stories suggests an interest in anecdotes that challenge conventional understanding, often presented with a touch of humor or incredulity. The recurring themes include strange coincidences, medically inexplicable phenomena, unusual human behavior, and historical oddities. The magazine seems to curate a selection of 'tales' that are remarkable for their strangeness, often sourced from popular media and anecdotal accounts, presenting them as 'legends' that are perhaps true, or at least, worth recounting.