Folklore Frontiers - No 044

Magazine Overview

Title: FOLKLORE FRONTIERS
Issue: No. 44
Date: August 2003
Publisher: Paul Screeton

FOLKLORE FRONTIERS is an independent magazine dedicated to exploring folklore, urban belief tales, ancient and modern traditions, and contemporary culture. Edited and published by Paul Screeton, the magazine aims to cover a diverse range of subjects within the realm of folklore and the unusual.

Editorial Content

The Diary

The editor, Paul Screeton, begins with an apology for reducing the issue's page count to 16, citing financial difficulties and a lack of optimism regarding resubscriptions and new readers. He speculates on potential reasons for this, including a decline in interest in contemporary legend, the magazine's style being out of step, or the rise of the internet making such magazines redundant. Despite these challenges, he expresses gratitude for supportive readers, such as author Mick Goss, and promises a return to 20 pages in the December issue, hoping for continued support.

Screeton also apologizes for repeating material from page 10 to page 11 in the previous issue, humorously attributing it to journalistic tradition or perhaps an overindulgence during a 'special booze issue'.

He notes that astrologer Jonathan Cainer reported mixed reactions to John Michell's special series in the Daily Mirror, with some readers finding it spellbinding and others difficult to follow. Screeton shares his own gnostic perspective, embracing creative geometry and the interconnection of bodily plexuses, but diverges from Michell's view of a benevolent Creator, aligning with gnosticism's belief in an intrinsically evil cosmos created by an opposing entity, the Demiurge.

A 'John Michell renaissance' is observed, with his name frequently appearing in summer publications. Michell's contribution to The Sunday Telegraph Magazine's celebration of Mick Jagger's 60th birthday is highlighted, where he described Jagger as an early Ali G, inventing a character and maintaining it. Michell also recalled excursions with Jagger to ley-line crossings and UFO centres, though Jagger would often steer them towards pubs.

Michell is also mentioned in 'The Trials of Arthur', where Druid Rollo Maughfling describes meeting him in his youth. Screeton notes his own past connection with Michell through 'The Ley Hunter' and references Colin Wilson's book 'Alien Dawn', which discusses Michell's utology and leys.

More BritArt

This section, written by Paul Screeton, continues his critique of 'spurious BritArt stupidity'. It details several instances of contemporary art being mistaken for rubbish or overlooked:

• A cleaner at the Anthony D'Offay gallery in London dumped Joseph Grigely's installation of crumpled newspapers.
• A New York gallery had a John Chamberlain abstract sculpture mistaken for rubbish and taken away by dustmen.
• Porters at an auction house removed Christo's sculpture, which was actually the brown paper wrapping of a chair.
• A caretaker at a library in Boulder, Colorado, threw out a modern art piece he thought was rubbish.
• A guard was called to prevent tiny dust piles from being blown away at a gallery in Colchester, Essex.

Another incident involved council workers in Peterborough covering a mural, part of a £10,000 art project, with thick grey emulsion, believing it to be graffiti.

The section recounts an incident at County Hall where a removal man was injured while carrying a life-size sculpture of a man sitting down, with paramedics initially believing the man was the injured party, only to discover another workman had been hurt elsewhere.

More on Chas Saatchi includes Sarah Lucas exhibiting a photocopy of a Daily Sport spread, Saatchi's $1 million purchase of 24 hand-carved ethnographic sculptures based on McDonald's hamburgers, Spencer Tunick organizing naked models for a gallery opening and a photo shoot at Selfridges, and a humorous anecdote about Saatchi being 'at home rearranging his sock drawer'.

Artistic stunts mentioned include:

• Swiss animal rights activists protesting a plan to throw a dead horse from a helicopter as art.
• Student Rita Fenning creating a 40ft oil slick in the shape of a barge.
• A photo of Kylie Minogue's behind, clad in hotpants, displayed as part of a work called "Consumerism 2".

Julian Spalding, former director of Glasgow Museums, is quoted criticizing the state of modern art, questioning the value of a shark in a tank or a light bulb going on and off for the Turner Prize.

Zandra Rhodes offers a blunt opinion: "I don't like conceptual art. I can unmake my own fucking bed."

Newslines

This section presents a series of short, diverse news items:

• Bird Count: Reports on birds' ability to count, with coots and ravens mentioned for their arithmetic skills. Lucy Pinney's anecdote about a bantam hen accepting a brood of ducklings is also included.
• Medieval Heatwave: Findings suggest a medieval warm period with global temperatures higher than today, followed by a Little Ice Age, challenging some environmentalist arguments about greenhouse gases.
• Hartlepool Worm: A mention of a local legend about a 'Hartlepool Worm'.

Oldies But Goodies

This recurring section revisits various anecdotes and myths:

• A policeman accidentally killing a family's pet dog after comforting them about a burglary.
• A cat recovering after a 45-minute spin in a washing machine.
• The story of Frank 'Mad Axeman' Mitchell, a notorious criminal who drank at the Peter Tavy Inn and escaped from Dartmoor.
• An anecdote about former cricket umpire Dickie Bird and Don Bradman in a Leeds bar.
• A joke involving a chemist, condoms, and a father's profession.
• An explanation regarding water draining in plugholes, refuting the idea that rotation dictates direction based on hemisphere, but noting its effect on hurricanes.
• A humorous anecdote about an audience member shouting "She's in the attic!" during a performance of 'The Diary of Anne Frank'.
• Women protesting a shop advertising "chastity belts for bitches", which turned out to be for female dogs.
• A 14th-century account of a knight and woman becoming inextricably attached during intercourse, attributed to divine intervention.
• A modern parallel from Zambia where a witch-doctor's curse causes a couple to become stuck together.
• A story of teenage lovers in Lille, France, getting their braces tangled during a kiss, causing a traffic jam.
• An anecdote about Winston Churchill and the myth of Cuban nubiles rolling cigars on their thighs, contrasted with a report on traditional cigar rolling methods.
• Three 'hardened criminals' cases involving bodies cemented into floors or bins.
• A drunken woman undressing on a Soho nightclub stage.
• The 'Mexican Pet' urban legend about a chihuahua mistaken for a rabid rat.
• A couple plunging to their death in Genoa, Italy, after their car rolled off a cliff while making love.
• An anecdote about a yucca plant squeaking and revealing a nest of tarantulas.
• The Association of The Dull Folk of America holding a parade where no one turned up.

Proto-Legends

This section focuses on early or proto-legends:

• Monkey Business: A story about a monkey skull found in Hartlepool, linked to a local legend of a French spy.
• Mock Mayors: Jimmy Hill elected Mayor of Middleton, Hartlepool.
• Highway to Hell: Route 666 being renamed Route 491.
• Lasagne & Curry: The origins of lasagne and chicken tikka masala are discussed, with claims they are English inventions.
• Blame the Genes: The role of genes in acid reflux (GORD) is mentioned.
• No Pause for Sex: Professor John McKinlay dismisses the concept of a 'male menopause' as a myth.
• Old Hearse: A man finds a 1937 Buick Straight Eight hearse and two coffins in a disused garage.
• Real Nessie: Experts suggest a fossil discovered in Loch Ness is part of a plesiosaur, matching descriptions of Nessie.
• Penguin Suits: An appeal for knitted jumpers for penguins affected by oil slicks in Tasmania.

Update

• Jayne Mansfield: Clarification on the myth of her decapitation, stating her wig was knocked off, and further details on the rumour mill surrounding her and Anton La Vay.
• Marsbarianne Faithfull: Marianne Faithfull is featured in a men's magazine, with her diverse life experiences listed.
• Tattoo Blunder: Stories of unfortunate tattoos, including a fan misspelling David Beckham's name and Arsenal-themed tattoos gone wrong.
• Rumours of Locomotive Names: Discussion on the naming of British Rail locomotives.
• Weird Workshop: A pub in Worksop banning the singing of "Happy Birthday" due to lack of an entertainment licence.

Articles Elsewhere

• Tickle Stick: An appeal for contributions for 'Birds Britannica', focusing on myths and superstitions surrounding birds, including the use of woodcock pin-feathers.
• Rock 'n' Rolling Stock: A mention of Victorians and megaliths in a train magazine, referencing Kemp Howe stone circle and Long Meg and her Daughters.
• Hand Job: A freelance fluffer named Fran discusses her work.
• Negative Equity: A critique of 'geopathic stress' concepts, with Dr Ted Nield of the Geological Society of London calling it unscientific.
• When the Chips Are Down: The British Potato Council's efforts to rebrand the potato, and historical resistance to its introduction in Europe.

Page One Cover Story

• Shoes Prank: The craze of throwing shoes into trees and wires, observed in High Wycombe and Glasgow.

Book Reviews

• The Trials of Arthur: The Life and Times of a Modern-Day King by Arthur Pendragon & Christopher James Stone: Reviewed as a 'gonzo journalism' style account of Arthur Pendragon, with critiques of the writing style and grammar.
• Mysterious Ancient America by Paul Devereux: Praised for its accessible overview of ancient American history, covering origins, lost civilizations, shamanism, and sacred landscapes.

Columns

• Columnist: Shaun Ryder discusses urban myths, including the 'red dye' in swimming pools and a story about a man shouting at people.
• Car Crash Victim: A story about Mark Brinkley waking from a coma as his girlfriend had sex with him.
• Nudity: Reports on petrol station attendants handing over money to a naked man and a couple charged for waltzing naked.
• Old Woman in Theatre: An anecdote about an elderly woman mistaking a theatre performance for heaven.
• Men Becoming Irritated: Two cases of men reacting violently to family members, one resulting in death, the other in police confiscation of an air-raid siren.

Magazines

Reviews of several magazines are provided:

• Fortean Times (Nos. 170-173): Covers topics such as leys, UFOs, synchronicity, witchcraft, and historical mysteries.
• Northern Earth (No. 94): Features articles on hydrogeology, local legends, sacred geometry, and archaeology.
• Amskaya (Nos. 53-54): Includes articles on extraterrestrial messages, spaceship trips, and flying saucer contacts.
• Magonia (No. 81): Discusses ball lightning, UFOs, Viktor Schauberger, and Erich von Däniken.
• Hobnail Review: A listing magazine for independent, self-published journals.

Recurring Themes and Editorial Stance

The magazine consistently explores themes of urban legends, contemporary myths, folklore, and Fortean phenomena. There is a critical stance towards certain aspects of modern art, particularly 'BritArt', and a tendency to debunk or question sensational claims while still presenting intriguing anecdotes and historical curiosities. The editor, Paul Screeton, maintains a personal and often humorous tone, sharing his own perspectives and engaging with reader contributions. The publication appears to champion the unusual and the unexplained, often drawing from a wide range of sources including newspaper clippings and anecdotal evidence.