Folklore Frontiers - No 022

Magazine Overview

Title: Folklore Frontiers
Issue: No. 22
Date: April, 1994
Focus: Folklore, folklife, urban legends, and contemporary happenings.

The Diary

The Diary section opens with a discussion of superstitions mentioned in the Northern Echo, including the unluckiness of keeping pigs on Holy Island and rabbits at Staithes, and fishermen not going to sea on Fridays if they see a clergyman or a woman. The writer humorously dismisses these as excuses for a day in the pub. The diary also recounts a visit to the Collingwood Arms in Newcastle and the Trafalgar in Gateshead, with a peculiar description of a statue.

The diary notes the spiking of Mike Amos's column in the Echo and contrasts the writer's own pub review skills with those of the Hartlepool Mail's secret gastronomic scribe. It mentions a humorous exchange regarding the pseudonym 'Egon Ronay' and the writer's own potential 'Egton Ronay'.

Several spoof news items are mentioned, including a sketch from 'The Day Today' involving a woman killed by frozen urine from an aircraft and a sheepdog landing a helicopter. The topic of crop circles is revisited, with a mention of a giant phallus appearing near John Major's retreat, raising questions about media suppression.

The departure of Kelvin MacKenzie as editor of The Sun is noted, with apocryphal anecdotes about his management style. The diary also includes a rumour about a £250,000 pools winner and a disturbing rumour about the murdered child James Bulger.

Police Attempt to Put Face to Severed Head

This is a brief news item about a severed head found in Staffordshire, with attempts being made to reconstruct its features. An accompanying headline from The Guardian is described as 'insensitive'.

Is she or isn't she..?

This section discusses the potential consequences of moving the statue of Ralph Ward Jackson from its resting place in Hartlepool. A local folklore claims the statue will stand up if a virgin walks past, raising questions about how this virtue would be tested. The writer notes that no one has ever seen the statue stand up.

Phone prankster adds one more joke to the Des O'Connor record

This article details a series of phone pranks where a caller, identified as Des O'Connor, repeatedly sings O'Connor's songs to the victim, Norman Webster. The pranks escalated from calls to the answering machine to direct calls, causing distress to Mr. Webster. The article includes anecdotes of O'Connor's songs affecting inanimate objects, such as a car spinning out of control, and mentions how mothers use his songs to get children to school. The prankster, identified as John Ezard, is described as collecting 27 press cartoons related to O'Connor. Despite the harassment, Mr. O'Connor is portrayed as good-natured about the situation.

Mayor keeps up spirit of Middleton

This article announces the election of Derek Gordon Douglas as the new Mayor of Middleton. It notes that he is the 24th mayor since the position was revived in 1970 and highlights his connection to the area. The article emphasizes that while the community of Middleton may be lost, its spirit lives on, and Middletonians feel they are maintaining their independence from Hartlepool.

The Daily Telegraph and Mr. Raphael Dunvant

This piece discusses Henry Porter's book 'Lies, Damned Lies and Some Exclusives', and a character named Mr. Raphael Dunvant, who was a fictional creation of a Telegraph reporter. Dunvant's fabricated exploits, including attacking Tony Benn and being struck by lightning, are detailed. The story concludes with Dunvant's 'death' after being attacked by Scottish football hooligans.

Dubious Missionary Positions By Paul Screeton

This is the first of a series of articles by Paul Screeton exploring various anecdotes, categorized as 'dubious missionary positions'. The themes include the pick-up receiver, employee's mischief, police, flights, and sex. The article highlights instances of police radios causing engine cut-outs in Vauxhall Astras due to shared frequencies, and police in Derbyshire being banned from using personal radios. It also mentions Hampshire Police hearing Parisian taxi drivers and German executives on their car phones. A tipster offering 'red hot certainties' to the Northumbria force is also noted.

Further anecdotes include an elderly Mae West picking up police radio through her hearing aid, and Britons being warned about mobile phones causing havoc with military networks in France. David Sandland's cordless phone call being picked up by neighbours and a randy couple being recorded by air controllers while flying are also recounted. The article mentions Andrew Lloyd Webber's 'Sunset Boulevard' being affected by mobile phones and BMW bosses warning about mobile phones triggering airbags. A computer programmer's receipt with an expletive message and a series of stories about children's cartoons being overprinted with hardcore porn are detailed. Finally, Disney TV channel content being replaced with adult material and 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit?' laserdiscs revealing explicit content are mentioned.

Contributors

• This section introduces the contributors to the magazine:
• Michael Goss: Writer on modern folklore, known for his stylish pieces. He contributes an article on guitar heroes, particularly Eric Clapton.
• Paul Screeton: Editor of Folklore Frontiers, who has published a book titled 'Seekers of the Linear Vision'.
• Bonnie Vaughan: Contributes a piece on Kurt Cobain's wife, Courtney Love, prompted by Cobain's death. She also notes a cutting about 'the harridan'.

Head to Head: or how Eric Clapton won a Wife

This article by Michael Goss details the story of how Eric Clapton won the wife of George Harrison, Pattie Boyd, through a prolonged guitar duel. It begins by discussing the nature of artistic commitment and the sacrifices artists make. The narrative then recounts the mutual admiration and friendship between Clapton and Harrison, which began around 1968. Clapton's unrequited love for Pattie, whom Harrison married in 1966, is described as a 'milestone' and an 'impossible situation'.

The article highlights Clapton's direct confrontation with Harrison at a party, where he declared his love for Pattie, and Harrison's alleged detached response. It mentions Clapton's subsequent descent into heroin addiction and his eventual recovery. The story of the guitar duel, where Clapton challenged Harrison for Pattie's hand, is presented as a rumour legend, though it is suggested that the underlying sentiment of a contest for Pattie's affection was real. The article concludes by noting that Pattie joined Clapton in 1974, their marriage to Harrison was dissolved, and she married Clapton in 1979.

Head to Head: or how Eric Clapton won a Wife (Continued)

The article continues by exploring the anecdote of the guitar duel between Eric Clapton and George Harrison for Pattie Boyd. It frames this as a 'rocklore romance' and an example of how rocklore revisits old narrative motifs. The author draws parallels with classic tales of artistic genius and the dedication required for mastery. The concept of the 'master versus the challenger' is discussed, where the older, established master triumphs over the brash newcomer through superior skill and technique.

The Master Defies Time

This section, also by Michael Goss, discusses the concept of the 'master' in art, particularly in the context of rock music. It emphasizes the dedication and commitment required for mastery, drawing parallels with samurai lore and Westerns. The article highlights how stories of such masters reinforce the respect and awe they command, validating the choices of their admirers. The idea that the master's art defies time and change is explored, suggesting that through them, admirers can also defy growing old and ineffectual.

Dubious Missionary Positions (Continued)

This part of Paul Screeton's article continues with more anecdotes. It discusses the theme of 'guitar duels' as a form of competition, comparing them to wrestling, riddle-solving, and bagpiping contests. The article mentions a fictional duel between a blues player and the Devil in the film 'Crossroads', where the player must win a guitar duel to save his companion. The legend of Robert Johnson selling his soul to the Devil for musical talent is also discussed, linking it to the 'crossroads' motif. The writer notes that while the film 'Crossroads' is based on Johnson's legend, it also features a young hero hoping to discover more Johnson songs. The article concludes with the writer needing to practice his licks, mentioning 'Layla' and 'Wonderful Tonight'.

Blonde Icons: Hole Lotta Love

This section focuses on Courtney Love, describing her as a 'Bad Girl' figure in the music industry. It contrasts the current 'safe' rock scene with the need for danger, scandal, and gossip, which Love embodies. Her early life, including expulsion from school and time in Liverpool, is mentioned, as is her relationship with Kurt Cobain. The article details the media frenzy surrounding their relationship, including rumours of Love's influence on Cobain and their lifestyle. It touches upon the birth of their daughter, Frances Bean, and the 'coma scare' involving Kurt Cobain, highlighting Courtney Love's role in calling for help. The article acknowledges her controversial nature but also her enduring intrigue and the continued interest in her music and career.

Articles elsewhere

• This section provides brief mentions of other articles and topics:
• Classic Detective Work: An article from the D Express about Robert Brooks finding rare cars.
• Rock stars' involvements with ghosts: An article from New Musical Express by Fred Dellar.
• Ghosts of War: An article from D Telegraph about Lt-Col John Cray and the search for missing US servicemen.
• Broadcasters' cock-ups: A mention of a radio newsreader reporting a collision between a lorry and a cat.
• Our man Screeton-changed: An article from Mail, Hartlepool, featuring FF editor Paul Screeton transformed from a fashion slob.
• Quest for the Hereford tramp: A piece by Paul Screeton on Peter McMahon.
• '122 were allowed to die': An article from Mail, Hartlepool, about a claim that the Admiralty cracked a code during WWI to sink German ships.

Recurring Themes and Editorial Stance

The magazine consistently explores the fringes of folklore, urban legends, and contemporary curiosities. There's a strong emphasis on music, particularly rock and blues history, with detailed discussions of artists like Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix, and the cultural narratives surrounding them. The editorial stance appears to favor the anecdotal, the intriguing, and the slightly sensational, often presenting rumors and legends as factual or at least worthy of serious consideration. The 'Dubious Missionary Positions' series exemplifies this, collecting a wide range of unusual and often humorous anecdotes. The magazine also engages with celebrity culture, particularly through the 'Blonde Icons' section, offering a critical yet fascinated perspective on figures like Courtney Love. The overall tone is informal and engaging, inviting readers to draw their own conclusions from the presented material.

This issue of Folklore magazine, identified as FF 23, published in March 1994, features a cover story titled "Oldies but Goodies." The magazine is published by Emjay Reprographics and has an ISSN of 0961-7294. The cover presents a black and white photograph of a young man with dark hair, accompanied by the headline.

Articles and Features

Oldies but Goodies

The "Oldies but Goodies" section opens with an anecdote about Anthony Burgess, whose editor suggested amendments to his novel "The Piano Players." Burgess claimed to have invented the story himself in the Thirties, demonstrating a humorous take on authorship and revision.

Another anecdote recounts an embarrassing moment for a friend of a friend after a vasectomy, where a nurse mistakenly requested a urine sample instead of the expected sample for the procedure.

Mars Bar Controversy

The issue discusses the controversy surrounding nurse Sue Brady, who explained to nine-year-old children how Mars bars were used in oral sex. The article references Marianne Faithfull and The Independent's leader column, which suggested that the term "shagging" was already common currency among children and that "rock 'n' roll" and media like Gillian Taylforth's libel case were more influential than the nurse's explanation. It also notes adverts in magazines like Smash Hits showing Mars bars with condoms, and a statement from Roman Catholic Bishop Joseph Devine urging people to examine their conscience before buying a Mars bar. A Mars spokesman stated, "It's not an incitement to sex."

Back to Front Building

This section details an article about World War II pillboxes, where the siting and gunslit positions were reportedly decided with care. A retired builder recounted how a farmer was instructed to build a line of boxes at sites marked by pegs, but one pillbox was built facing the wrong way because someone shifted the pegs. Rumours suggested a German spy was involved.

Cruelty to R.S.P.C.A.

Insp. Brian Cowing of the RSPCA investigated a complaint at Perth market concerning a mechanical furry green and blue parrot from a "prize every time" slot machine. The complaint was deemed genuine but mistaken for a real bird.

Pub landlady Jacqui Philips was accused of cruelty to a plastic fish named Fillet, which a tippler mistook for a real goldfish. Insp. Janet Harvey investigated, leading to a humorous misunderstanding.

A story about a hoax in Liverpool's L. Scene magazine promised a club called "Club Bonk" with explicit entertainment. Animal rights activists arrived, as did frustrated clubbers, due to the hoax article mentioning a caged panther over the dance floor.

Freddie and the Dreamtime Plus Bestiality

This section revisits the question of whether Amble's Freddie the dolphin was dead, quoting expert Dr. Horace Dobbs who suggested Freddie was likely alive and well elsewhere. It also mentions the infamous case of alleged sexual molestation of Freddie and a unique birth of a "wholpin" (whale-dolphin hybrid) in Japan.

Books Reviews

Seekers of the Linear Vision by Paul Screeton: Reviewed by Nigel Pennick, this book is described as a valuable personal view of ley hunting history, illustrated with rare photographs. It serves as a reminder of changing fashions in ley hunting and earth mysteries, and includes a postlude by Donald Cyr on "The Science of Ley Hunting." The reviewer recommends it to geomantic enthusiasts.

Haunts of the Black Masseur by Charles Sprawson: Hailed as a sprawling and quixotic book, it offers an extended essay on swimmers as heroes and heroines, filled with anecdotes and facts. The book covers various cultures and attitudes towards swimming and water, exploring its association with the devil and its revival in the 19th century. It is described as being about the psychology of swimming and matters aquatic.

The Stonehenge Solution by George Terence Meaden: Reviewed with a headline questioning if Stonehenge was a sex ring, the book offers a dramatic and logical explanation for its construction. The reviewer humorously suggests the name "Onan" comes to mind.

Hotel Reservations by Derek Picot: This book reveals amusing and sometimes dull tales of hospitality hiccups and calamities from a top London hotel manager. It includes variations of familiar apocryphal tales, such as a philanderer caught by his wife and a mistaken identity involving tins of shoe polish and medical gel.

The Beast Within by Adam Douglas: A scholarly study of speculations regarding werewolves, it treats lycanthropy as a myth, exploring hallucinations, psychiatric disorders, and mass hysteria. It discusses the possibility of genuine shape-shifting abilities and ranges through cinematic projection, feral children, and the full moon connection.

Craig Shergold: A Mother's Story by Marion Shergold with Pamela Cockerill: This book recounts the story of Craig Shergold, a boy with a malignant tumor who received a chance at life from an American billionaire. It highlights his courage and the massive campaign to send him get-well cards, which eventually won an entry into the Guinness Book of Records. The book also touches upon a similar campaign in the US for a non-existent patient.

Magazine Reviews

The issue includes reviews of various magazines and publications, such as:

• DEAR MR THOMS: A non-profitmaking folklore miscellany covering topics like media reaction to aid for Pakistan, urban myths, emoticons, and severed penis legends.
• WEARWOLF: A magazine focusing on garden gnomes, religious happenings, vampirism, crop circles, and mythical felids.
• FORTEAN TIMES: Features articles on self-victimisation syndromes, psychedelics, flying saucers, abductions, and the transcendental attractor. It also covers alleged funding of the IRA by McDonald's, 20th-century aliens, and fairy sightings.
• STRANGE MAGAZINE: A US glossy magazine covering mysterious plants, phantom airship scares, cryptozoology, ghosts, and ufos.
• THE LEY HUNTER: Discusses Irish sweathouses, vampires and shamans, and spirit trap theories. It also covers megalithic culture in Japan and earthlights.
• NORTHERN EARTH: Explores the "Celtic head" and its recurrence, and discusses modern understandings of this phenomenon.
• GLOUCESTERSHIRE EARTH MYSTERIES: Features articles on "The Fuss About Leys," haunted highways, and the Tysoe horse hill figures.
• THE CEREALOGIST: Covers Satanic implications in crop circles, the interpretation of formations, and includes reviews of books and articles on the subject.
• THE CROP WATCHER: Supports Doug Bower's work on crop circles and discusses topics like ball lightning and the Linda Napolitano UFO abduction claim.
• TOUCHSTONE: A magazine of Surrey Earth Mysteries Group, covering dowsing, dragon lines, circles, and Bristol ufos.
• ALIEN SCRIPTURE: Focuses on research into non-human intelligences, abduction experiences, and the ETH (Extraterrestrial Hypothesis).
• MAGONIA: Interprets contemporary vision and belief, discussing abduction cases, the UMMO Spanish affair, and the Mattoon Gasser.
• NORTHERN UFO NEWS: Covers media hype surrounding UFO events, case histories, and editorial commentary on UFO phenomena.

Recurring Themes and Editorial Stance

The magazine consistently explores themes of folklore, urban legends, mythology, ufology, and the paranormal. It appears to maintain a critical yet open-minded stance, presenting various perspectives and engaging with both historical accounts and contemporary phenomena. The reviews of books and magazines indicate a broad interest in earth mysteries, ancient sites, and unexplained events. The editorial tone often involves a blend of serious analysis, humorous anecdotes, and a willingness to question established narratives. The magazine also seems to champion independent research and publications within these fields.